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Monday, November 7, 2011

Don't Compare Yourself to Others


Because I was running a little late, I almost missed my yoga class warm-ups. By the time I got there, it was about time to start the regular routines. I noticed that the class was surprisingly small; only me and one other student. Turned out the other students had attended a class held earlier in the morning.

After about half way through the class, we went into a posture that I don’t always look forward to. We sit Indian style, palms facing upward resting on our knees. Then we bend forward and try to touch the floor with our forehead. I’m just not flexible enough to do that!

As I sat there struggling with the position, I heard that little voice in my head. It said, “Hey, check out your neighbor.” I didn’t want the girl next to me to notice, but I slightly glanced over her way only to observe that she was totally and fully in the position. Her legs were Indian style as she leaned forward with her forehead comfortably resting on the floor. She looked so comfortable until it appeared she was sleeping.

Even if I had tried, it would have been difficult to quiet that voice that kept saying things like, “She’s so much better at this than you.” “You need to be more like her.” “Look at her comfortably resting her forehead on the floor, and you’re struggling just to sit Indian style.” Before I knew it, I was totally engaged in the words spoken by that little voice.

Do you find yourself at times comparing yourself to others? It didn’t take long for me to snap back to reality and stop listening to the wrong voice and start listening to the right one. “But they, measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise” (2 Corinthians 10:12). Following are several reasons it’s unwise to compare yourself to others:

WHY IT’S UNWISE TO COMPARE YOURSELF TO OTHERS

1. You have no idea what another person's journey is all about. You're on the outside looking in. If you knew their story, you might not be so quick to compare yourself to them.

2. It may not be realistic for you to be where someone else is or have what they have. Different people are at different stages at different times. I had never even met the young lady in my class. For all I know, she could have been another instructor who’s been practicing yoga for years.

3. Although you may think it is, the grass is not always greener on the other side. And, if you would simply water your grass, it could be pretty and green. If I would work a little harder, practice at home outside of class and attend class more regularly, I’m sure I would be comfortable in that yoga position in no time!

4. Comparing yourself to others can lead to bitterness, anger, jealousy, envy and even an unhealthy competition. If I don’t watch myself, I could find myself going to class with the sole purpose of outdoing my yoga classmate.

HOW TO STOP COMPARING YOURSELF TO OTHERS


1. Recognize and acknowledge your true value and worth, but at the same time, accept yourself even with all of your faults and imperfections. We all have them. Make positive changes where you can. Do what you can to change the things you can and accept the things you can’t.

2. Find your own gifts and talents and develop them. Don’t covet the gifts and talents of others. Find that thing God wants you to do. Become the person He wants you to be.

3. Learn to appreciate others for who they are. Build relationships with those who live productive lives so you can share with them and learn from them.

4. Celebrate and reward yourself for who you are! Thank God for everything He’s blessed you with; all of your abilities, gifts and talents. Ask him to forgive you for comparing yourself to others.

Remember, focusing on others and on what they are doing will hinder you from seeing what God has in store for you!

Friday, October 21, 2011

Getting Out of Your Comfort Zone


Do you have a favorite seat in your home, at church, or maybe in the lunchroom at work? Have you ever gone to sit in your favorite seat but someone else had beat you to it? If you’ve experienced this, you know what it feels like to be forced out of your comfort zone.

While it’s normal to want to be comfortable, feel safe and secure, those times come when you have to get out of your comfort zone. How uncomfortable will you allow yourself to become? When you’re faced with making a relationship change, a change in doctors, a change in jobs, how uncomfortable are you willing to become?

Well, believe it or not, people who are willing to become uncomfortable are those who have found a key element to living a successful, prosperous life. It’s impossible to grow, mature and transform your life without stepping outside of your comfort zone and allowing yourself to become uncomfortable.

REASONS YOU‘RE APPREHENSIVE ABOUT STEPPING OUTSIDE OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE

1. Fear
Fear is the greatest obstacle to getting out of your comfort zone. There are those who would be doctors, nurses, lawyers, business owners and much more. However, fear has caused them to put their dreams on hold; kept them from stepping outside of their comfort zone.

The way to overcome fear is to replace it with faith. The more faith you have in God, the easier it will be to get out of your comfort zone. Think about what God has already done for you. Recall how you’ve seen His hand working in your life; providing for you, protecting you and opening doors for you. This should strengthen your faith. Study God’s Word and your faith in Him will increase. Spend time in the presence of God in prayer and meditation and watch your fears decrease, and faith increase. “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind” (2 Timothy 1:7).

2. Failure to Recognize Your Value and Worth
A person who does not recognize their value and worth is the same person who can’t see why it’s necessary to endure some discomfort in order to achieve personal growth and development. This is a person who will make all kinds of excuses. Excuses are not real reasons. You make excuses when you want to conceal what’s really going on.

When you recognize that your life has value and worth, instead of making excuses, you’ll step outside of your comfort zone because you know you have something to offer the world and you’re not going to allow a little discomfort to cause you to make excuses and keep you from stepping out on faith, taking those risks, doing something you haven’t done before and experiencing the growth and development necessary for you to get where God wants you to be.

3. Lack of a Healthy System of Support
Sometimes all you need is a little encouragement to take that first step outside of your comfort zone. It’s amazing what encouragement can do. There are people who are skilled at encouraging others. It’s their gift from God. A good encourager will know just the words to say to make you feel comfortable about becoming uncomfortable. Seek out those godly individuals in your life who have a healthy boldness about them; those who are confident but not arrogant and prideful. Learn from them. Find that person who will hold you accountable for your actions and remind you of who God created you to be.

Conclusion
One of our greatest problems is instead of depending on God, we depend on ourselves. We have more faith in ourselves than we have in God. Stop depending on yourself. Move yourself out of the way and let your destiny unfold at the hands of God. As a child of God, you are entitled to every achievement God has planned for you. It rightfully belongs to you, and He would never give you something and not give you the power to possess it as your own and fulfill it to His glory and honor. You simply need to trust Him, step out of your comfort zone and possess it!

Sunday, October 16, 2011

You Reap What You Sow



Back in March, my husband and I planted a garden in our backyard. Well, I shouldn’t say “I,” because he actually planted, while “I” watched. And why “I” was the one who ended up with poison ivy and not him, is still an itching mystery to me.

Needless to say, our garden didn’t make it. Some say it’s because it was such a hot summer, and that might be the case. At any rate, it’s fall and we’re going to try it again. Yes, we’re about to plant a fall garden, and hopefully and prayerfully, this time we will reap a harvest.

When I think of the process of planting a tiny seed and then watching it grow and mature, it’s a fascinating concept. And, not only can we relate the principle of planting and harvesting to a garden, but we can apply the same principle to our very lives, our everyday lives.

Believe it or not, every decision you make is like a seed, and that seed is going to produce a harvest, a consequence. Be careful what you plant because it’s going to come up!

Wherever you are right now in life; whatever position you're in, it’s a result of the seeds you’ve planted; the choices and decisions you’ve made in life. We’re all in a place where we’re reaping something we’ve sown in the past.

Here are a few tips for the planting season.

1. Examine the ground. Make sure the ground you plant on is good, healthy, fertile ground. “Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me “ (Psalm 51:10).

2. Try to plant seeds that have been tested and proven to bear good, healthy fruit. “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law” (Galatians 5:22-23).

3. Don’t get impatient and take matters into your own hands when your seeds don’t produce a harvest within your time frame. “But those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint" (Isaiah 40:31).

Use these tips to make better choices for yourself. Know what God expects from you and plant accordingly. Plant good seeds on good ground and watch what the Lord does in your life!

Thursday, October 13, 2011

5 Ways to Simplify Your Life


To simplify your life is to get rid of things that don’t add value to your life. This makes room for the things in life that are important like doing things you enjoy doing or spending time with people you love. The simpler your life, the more productive, peaceful, pleasant and happy you are.

Here are 5 ways to simplify your life.

1. Forgive Yourself For Not Getting Things Done.
Stop beating yourself up over things left undone. It's common to think of forgiveness in the context of forgiving someone who has wronged you. You let them off the hook, so to speak. Well, let yourself off the hook. Brush off that nagging voice that’s constantly telling you, ”You said you were going to mop the floors!” “When are you going to mop!” “You can’t get anything done!” That nagging little voice will haunt you and make you feel like you’re the worst person in the world for not doing what you planned to do. Don’t listen! Forgive yourself! In fact, once you forgive yourself, this may motivate you to do what needs to be done!

2. Clean out your purse.
How many times have you gone into your purse to find your keys and couldn’t find them because there was so much “stuff” in your purse? I was in line at the grocery store with a friend recently. I had already checked out and was standing there waiting for her to pay for her groceries. She wrote a check, went into her purse to find her drivers license and couldn’t find it. She must have dug down in that huge, heavy purse for five minutes trying to locate her license. In fact, after a while, I thought about just offering to pay for her groceries. She finally found her license.

At one of my speaking engagements, I did an exercise where I brought in a scale to weigh purses. The idea was to see which woman was carrying the most “baggage.” Whoever had the heaviest purse would be the woman labeled as carrying not just baggage in her purse, but also baggage in her life. That exercise taught me that women carry around way too much unnecessary baggage!

3. Know where your money goes.
Do you know where your money goes, or do you just spend, spend, and spend? A friend says, “Let’s go out to lunch today.” You say, “Ok, I’m ready let’s go.” Need a new pair of shoes? “I’ll run out at lunch and see if I can find the shoes I need.” A past due bill comes in the mail. “Oh, here’s a check for that.” A relative needs to borrow a hundred dollars. “Here you go. Don’t worry about paying me back.” Need to get a pedicure and manicure? “How much do I owe you? Thirty dollars? Here ya go, and here’s a ten dollar tip.” Need gas for the car? Seventy-five dollars for that. One hundred dollars for this. Fifty dollars for that. Ten dollars for this. Twenty-five dollars for that.

When you spend uncontrollably, you waste a lot. For some of us, someone else could take what we waste and live comfortably on it. Simplify your life by gaining control of your spending. Become more conscious of what you’re spending your money on and determine where the waste is. Know where your money goes.

4. Learn to say no.
Are you constantly saying yes? Yes I’ll do this. Yes I’ll do that. Yes, yes and yes. First of all, examine your motives for always saying yes. Why is it always yes? Do you say yes because you think nobody’s going to do it as good as you? Do you say yes because it makes you feel valuable and needed? What’s your motive?

If you’re going to simplify your life, you’re going to have to learn to say no. This is not promoting a selfish attitude. It’s protecting your inner self and your sanity so when others need you, you’re healthy, capable and able to extend the help that is needed.

5. Be Thankful.
“Enter into His gates with thanksgiving, and into His courts with praise. Be thankful to Him, and bless His name. For the Lord is good; His mercy is everlasting, And His truth endures to all generations” (Psalm 100:4-5). No matter what’s going on in your life, take time to say, “Thank you God that things are as well as they are.”

A thankful heart protects you. It protects you from negative emotions like bitterness, wrath, anger and unforgiveness. When you possess a heart of thanksgiving, it’s difficult to be bitter and angry. It’s difficult to hold on to unforgiveness. We have a lot to be thankful for. God has been good to us. And even when we haven’t taken care of ourselves, He’s taken care of us. In our complex, busy lives, even though we don’t always take time for Him, He takes time for us. Simplify your life by being thankful!

Listen to Shamarion Sunday at 4:00 p.m. on Houston’s 100.7 FM, or online at kkht.com where she will present a half hour session on 10 Ways to Simplify Your Life. Tune in!!

Thursday, October 6, 2011

How to End a Pity Party


Pity parties are different from parties planned for birthdays, anniversaries, retirements, or just for fun. At most parties, guests are present. But at a pity party, there’s only one guest; the person throwing the party.

The following are consequences to having a pity party:

1.Having a pity party can add up to a huge amount of wasted time.
You replay over and over in your mind what happened, who did it, why it happened and how it happened. You lose sleep over it. You lose energy over it. You lose weight over it. You even lose work over it.

2.Having a pity party can cause you to lose friends.
Others can start to isolate themselves from you for fear that your negative attitude could be contagious. It’s not uncommon to speak words that hurt while you’re at your pity party, even to persons close to you.

3.Having a pity party can indicate you’re self-centered.
If you’re not careful, you can become so involved in your pity party until you can seemingly forget about the people around you, even those who need you. You can begin to think you’re the only one with problems and challenges.

The most important thing to remember about a pity party is you can't stay too long.

HOW TO END A PITY PARTY

1.Focus on others instead of yourself.
One of the best ways to bring joy back into your life is to do something nice for someone. When you’re feeling down, send someone a friendly card, or pick up the phone and call someone and encourage them. This can be the very thing that keeps you from going to that pity party!

2.Learn the lesson.
In any situation always ask, “Lord, what do you want me to learn from this experience?” Even though it’s a pity party, take something away from the party. Take away the lesson, the learning. You may learn, it’s not all about you. Life is much better lived in service to others. You may learn that pity parties are not worth the time and energy. You may learn that life isn’t always fair. You may learn that you can’t control people and what they do; you can only control yourself. You may learn that life is too short to spend it having a pity party! Whatever you do, don’t leave the pity party without grabbing the lesson.

3.Don’t worry. Pray.
Worrying never solved anything. Instead of worrying, spend time in prayer!
“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; 7 and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:6-7).

Tune in Sunday at 4:00 p.m. to Houston's 100.7 FM or kkht.com and get the full session on "Ending the Pity Party."

Friday, September 16, 2011

Protect Your Sanity!


When I was a little girl, my mother went shopping and shortly after her shopping spree, a huge furniture truck backed up into our driveway and delivered the most beautiful China Cabinet I thought I would ever see. But what went inside that piece of furniture was even more beautiful and more precious. When my mother placed her expensive set of precious China in her new China Cabinet, she made it very clear to me and my siblings that we were not to open the doors of that Cabinet.

Precious China is just one of those things we sometimes place under the umbrella of our protection. In fact, it’s a woman’s nature to nurture and protect. But, my challenge to you today is, instead of focusing on protecting your fine China, your pet, your family, or your career, take time and focus on protecting your sanity. It’s more precious than fine China.

Ways to protect your sanity.

1. Guard Your Heart
“Keep your heart with all diligence. For out of it spring the issues of life” (Proverbs 4:23).Protecting your sanity means protecting your heart, your mind, the place from which your life is created. To guard your heart is to be selective about what you allow to enter and linger in your heart. Manage anger. Learn to forgive. Know when to take a stand, and when to stand down. And by all means, know that it’s ok to say no when you’re asked to do something and your plate is already full!

2. Make Time For Yourself
“Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit…” (1 Corinthians 6:19). Protecting your sanity means making time to nurture your mind, body and spirit.

It’s early Friday morning, and I’m about to pack up my things, leave my beautiful, plush hotel room here in Downtown Dallas, and head back home to Houston to my husband and family. This was a getaway trip both me and my husband agreed I needed!!

Protecting your sanity can certainly mean getting away from it all. Plan a day at the spa. Or, better yet, plan a day to do nothing! Whatever works for you, by all means, just do it! Make time for yourself.

3. Feed the Spirit
"And she had a sister called Mary, who also sat at Jesus feet and heard His word” (Luke 10:39). If you’re not regularly sitting at the feet of Jesus, you’re not doing too good of a job of protecting your sanity. It’s a requirement. Spend time studying God’s word, meditating on the Scriptures and communicating with God through prayer.

When you make an effort to protect your sanity, the Holy Spirit will join in and cover you with His protection, helping you recognize and enjoy the benefits of a healthy, sane, spirit-filled mind!

Tune in Sunday afternoon at 4:00 p.m. to Houston’s 100.7 FM, or listen online at kkht.com, and hear the full lesson on “Protect Your Sanity!”

Friday, September 9, 2011

Putting Your Life Back Together

If you've ever dropped a plate, cup or saucer, you know picking up the broken pieces can be a challenge. In fact, good luck trying to find all the pieces!

Life is sometimes like a broken cup or saucer. We all can become broken and faced with the task of putting the pieces of our lives back together. Brokenness comes in many forms, and no matter how strong you may think you are, there's a situation or circumstance that can cause brokenness in your life. "Therefore let him who thinks he stands take heed lest he fall" (1 Corinthians 10:12).

HOW TO PUT THE PIECES OF YOUR LIFE BACK TOGETHER

GET SOMEONE TO HELP YOU
"Two are better than one, Because they have a good reward for their labor" (Ecclesiastes 4:9).

I recently dropped my crockpot and it broke into pieces. My husband helped me pick up the pieces. He made sure no pieces were left behind. Not only could the broken pieces cause injuries to me, but he knew if he didn't help me, he could be the one to step on that one piece of broken glass that I may not have gathered.

When you're putting back together the pieces of your life, find a trusted friend who can help. Someone who can activate the power of God's Holy Spirit. Someone who can take you to the throne of God and petition Him in prayer on your behalf.

DON'T KEEP LOOKING BACK AT THE PAST
"...forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead" (Philippians 3:13).

It didn't take long to get over my broken crockpot. In fact, I went right out and purchased a new one. I didn't dwell on the fact that I'd lost something I'd had for years. Something that had served up many meals for me and my family. It was gone and dwelling on it wouldn't bring it back.

When you make the decision to move on and put the pieces of your life back together, don't focus on the past. Focusing on the past makes it difficult to see all God has in store for you. "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope" (Jeremiah 29:11).

If you made mistakes in the past, just make sure you learned something from your mistakes. When you learn from your mistakes, this keeps you from making the same mistakes over and over. Forgive yourself, forgive others and focus on the task of picking up the pieces of your life and putting it back together.

You can live again!

Tune in Sunday to the radio broadcast and get the full lesson on "Putting Your Life Back Together."