How to End a Pity Party

Pity parties are different from parties planned for birthdays, anniversaries, retirements, or just for fun. At most parties, guests are present. But at a pity party, there’s only one guest; the person throwing the party.

The following are consequences to having a pity party:

1.Having a pity party can add up to a huge amount of wasted time.
You replay over and over in your mind what happened, who did it, why it happened and how it happened. You lose sleep over it. You lose energy over it. You lose weight over it. You even lose work over it.

2.Having a pity party can cause you to lose friends.
Others can start to isolate themselves from you for fear that your negative attitude could be contagious. It’s not uncommon to speak words that hurt while you’re at your pity party, even to persons close to you.

3.Having a pity party can indicate you’re self-centered.
If you’re not careful, you can become so involved in your pity party until you can seemingly forget about the people around you, even those who need you. You can begin to think you’re the only one with problems and challenges.

The most important thing to remember about a pity party is you can't stay too long.

HOW TO END A PITY PARTY

1.Focus on others instead of yourself.
One of the best ways to bring joy back into your life is to do something nice for someone. When you’re feeling down, send someone a friendly card, or pick up the phone and call someone and encourage them. This can be the very thing that keeps you from going to that pity party!

2.Learn the lesson.
In any situation always ask, “Lord, what do you want me to learn from this experience?” Even though it’s a pity party, take something away from the party. Take away the lesson, the learning. You may learn, it’s not all about you. Life is much better lived in service to others. You may learn that pity parties are not worth the time and energy. You may learn that life isn’t always fair. You may learn that you can’t control people and what they do; you can only control yourself. You may learn that life is too short to spend it having a pity party! Whatever you do, don’t leave the pity party without grabbing the lesson.

3.Don’t worry. Pray.
Worrying never solved anything. Instead of worrying, spend time in prayer!
“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; 7 and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:6-7).

Tune in Sunday at 4:00 p.m. to Houston's 100.7 FM or kkht.com and get the full session on "Ending the Pity Party."

Protect Your Sanity!

When I was a little girl, my mother went shopping and shortly after her shopping spree, a huge furniture truck backed up into our driveway and delivered the most beautiful China Cabinet I thought I would ever see. But what went inside that piece of furniture was even more beautiful and more precious. When my mother placed her expensive set of precious China in her new China Cabinet, she made it very clear to me and my siblings that we were not to open the doors of that Cabinet.

Precious China is just one of those things we sometimes place under the umbrella of our protection. In fact, it’s a woman’s nature to nurture and protect. But, my challenge to you today is, instead of focusing on protecting your fine China, your pet, your family, or your career, take time and focus on protecting your sanity. It’s more precious than fine China.

Ways to protect your sanity.

1. Guard Your Heart
“Keep your heart with all diligence. For out of it spring the issues of life” (Proverbs 4:23).Protecting your sanity means protecting your heart, your mind, the place from which your life is created. To guard your heart is to be selective about what you allow to enter and linger in your heart. Manage anger. Learn to forgive. Know when to take a stand, and when to stand down. And by all means, know that it’s ok to say no when you’re asked to do something and your plate is already full!

2. Make Time For Yourself
“Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit…” (1 Corinthians 6:19). Protecting your sanity means making time to nurture your mind, body and spirit.

It’s early Friday morning, and I’m about to pack up my things, leave my beautiful, plush hotel room here in Downtown Dallas, and head back home to Houston to my husband and family. This was a getaway trip both me and my husband agreed I needed!!

Protecting your sanity can certainly mean getting away from it all. Plan a day at the spa. Or, better yet, plan a day to do nothing! Whatever works for you, by all means, just do it! Make time for yourself.

3. Feed the Spirit
"And she had a sister called Mary, who also sat at Jesus feet and heard His word” (Luke 10:39). If you’re not regularly sitting at the feet of Jesus, you’re not doing too good of a job of protecting your sanity. It’s a requirement. Spend time studying God’s word, meditating on the Scriptures and communicating with God through prayer.

When you make an effort to protect your sanity, the Holy Spirit will join in and cover you with His protection, helping you recognize and enjoy the benefits of a healthy, sane, spirit-filled mind!

Tune in Sunday afternoon at 4:00 p.m. to Houston’s 100.7 FM, or listen online at kkht.com, and hear the full lesson on “Protect Your Sanity!”

Putting Your Life Back Together

If you've ever dropped a plate, cup or saucer, you know picking up the broken pieces can be a challenge. In fact, good luck trying to find all the pieces!

Life is sometimes like a broken cup or saucer. We all can become broken and faced with the task of putting the pieces of our lives back together. Brokenness comes in many forms, and no matter how strong you may think you are, there's a situation or circumstance that can cause brokenness in your life. "Therefore let him who thinks he stands take heed lest he fall" (1 Corinthians 10:12).

HOW TO PUT THE PIECES OF YOUR LIFE BACK TOGETHER

GET SOMEONE TO HELP YOU
"Two are better than one, Because they have a good reward for their labor" (Ecclesiastes 4:9).

I recently dropped my crockpot and it broke into pieces. My husband helped me pick up the pieces. He made sure no pieces were left behind. Not only could the broken pieces cause injuries to me, but he knew if he didn't help me, he could be the one to step on that one piece of broken glass that I may not have gathered.

When you're putting back together the pieces of your life, find a trusted friend who can help. Someone who can activate the power of God's Holy Spirit. Someone who can take you to the throne of God and petition Him in prayer on your behalf.

DON'T KEEP LOOKING BACK AT THE PAST
"...forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead" (Philippians 3:13).

It didn't take long to get over my broken crockpot. In fact, I went right out and purchased a new one. I didn't dwell on the fact that I'd lost something I'd had for years. Something that had served up many meals for me and my family. It was gone and dwelling on it wouldn't bring it back.

When you make the decision to move on and put the pieces of your life back together, don't focus on the past. Focusing on the past makes it difficult to see all God has in store for you. "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope" (Jeremiah 29:11).

If you made mistakes in the past, just make sure you learned something from your mistakes. When you learn from your mistakes, this keeps you from making the same mistakes over and over. Forgive yourself, forgive others and focus on the task of picking up the pieces of your life and putting it back together.

You can live again!

Tune in Sunday to the radio broadcast and get the full lesson on "Putting Your Life Back Together."

Spring Cleaning: Get Your House in Order!

It's that time of the year. Time to think about cleaning up, cleaning out and throwing away! Don't ignore the urge to spring clean!

Consider this. If something were to happen to you today; an accident, an illness, or even death, and it became necessary for someone to come into your home to sort through and make sense of things and find all of your necessary legal documents, would they be able to do it without it being a major challenge? Is your home organized in a way that friends or relatives who found it necessary could come in during an emergency situation and feel relieved and even impressed at how organized you are and how you keep a home that God is pleased with?

Believe it or not, this could become reality at any time in your life. It’s always a good idea to spring clean and organize with the thought in mind that someone that does not live in your home and is not familiar with where things are just might have to come in and locate certain things. And yes, God is concerned with the environment of your home. In fact, in Titus 2:5, older women are encouraged to teach younger women to be "keepers at home." This is just one reason you shouldn't ignore the urge to spring clean. Here are others:

1. You can live in a messy, cluttered, unorganized environment for so long until you begin to see it as normal. It becomes a part of your life and you no longer see it as a problem issue.

2. Living in a cluttered, messy environment makes you reluctant to invite guests over and you miss out on opportunities to share and fellowship with others in the privacy of your home.

3. A messy, cluttered environment promotes procrastination. When there is so much clutter, cleaning becomes challenging, difficult, and time consuming. Therefore, you end up putting it off for a different day and time.

When the motivation to clean hits you, don't ignore it. Do it while you're in the mood, and here are:

A Few Tips to Help You Spring Clean

1. Pray for a spirit of discipline and commitment.

2. Don't try to tackle everything in one day.

3. If you have a spouse and/or children, involve them in the cleaning process.

4. By all means, throw away "stuff" you no longer use!

For more spring cleaning inspiration, join me Sunday, April 3, on Houston's 100.7 FM at 4:00 p.m., or kkht.com, where I will present the show entitled, "Spring Cleaning: Get Your House in Order!"

Lord, Help Me Let Go!

Are you holding on to something you know you need to let go of? Is it a relationship gone bad, an unforgiving heart, a negative attitude, a wayward child, or some other issue that keeps you stressed out and emotionally drained? Whatever it is, it’s time to let go and let God!

Following are three reasons you should let go.

1. Letting go of the old makes room for the new. It’s a woman’s nature to hold on to things. Instead of letting it go, we believe we can fix it, make it better. We believe we can nurture it and change it. That’s our nature. That’s what we do. But know that there are some things you just can’t fix. And, God can’t and won’t use you until you let it go. “Forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead” (Philippians 3:13).

2. Letting go shows your dependency on God. Letting go implies, “Lord, I surrender all to you. I’m putting it in your capable, loving hands.” It’s easy to say you trust God. But, do you really trust Him? How many times have you given a burden or challenge to God and then took it back? If you really trust Him, you’ll take it to Him and leave it there! “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths” (Proverbs 3:5-7).

3. Letting go will give you peace of mind. Peace of mind can be described as the absence of mental and emotional stress or anxiety. It can be described as free from worry. It takes a lot of time, effort and energy to hold on to things you know you should let go of. The Scriptures assure you that you’ll have peace once you let it go. “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:6-7).

Letting go isn’t always easy, and it’s certainly not something you can do all by yourself. God has given you a helper in life; His Holy Spirit, who can help you get to the place God wants you to be. When God gives you something to do, you can rest assured He’s already given you everything you need to get it done. If He’s asking you to let it go, by the power of His Holy Spirit, He’s already given you the strength you need to do it. Just say to Him, “Lord, help me let go!”

7 Ways to Upgrade Your Life

1. Upgrade your employment!
Are you passionate about the work you do? Does your job offer you the fulfillment you desire, want and need? If not, it's time for an employment upgrade. The economy is starting to rebound, so now could very well be the perfect time to start looking at alternative employment opportunities. Make a commitment to find the job that’s right for you and allows you to use your God-given gifts and talents. You deserve it. Don't settle for less!

2. Upgrade your health!
Good health is one of the most valuable things you can possess. This year, don’t skip the annual visit to the gynecologist. Make the appointment. And certainly don’t forget your mammogram. Also, choose better eating habits. When shopping for groceries, stay away from cans, boxes and other packaged goods that include ingredients with words like “modified,” “hydrogenated” and those you can’t pronounce. Eat more fresh fruits and veggies. Try cutting down on meat, especially red meat. Better yet, realize you don’t have to have it everyday. Skip a couple of days a week of eating meat. And by all means, exercise and drink plenty of water!

3. Upgrade your attitude!
An attitude upgrade is one of the best things you can do for yourself and others in the New Year. Throw away your negative attitude and upgrade to a new, positive attitude. Smile more. Laugh more. Hug more. Love more. Give more. Forgive more. Throw away your tiara and give up your position as a drama queen. Stop blaming others. Start being responsible. Stop holding grudges. Start letting go. A new attitude can mean a totally new you!

4. Upgrade your appearance!
What you look like on the outside can be a good indication of what’s happening on the inside. Do something different in 2011. Get a nice new hair-cut. Or, do something even more drastic and get rid of the perm. Go natural. Lots of ladies are doing it, including me. Get a couple of new mix and match outfits. But don’t spend a lot of money. Resale shops can be a great place to shop for nice, gently worn, fashionable outfits. This New Year, let your outward appearance say something awesome about you!

5. Upgrade your perception of yourself!
What you think about yourself can reflect to others and affect how they see you. If you think you can’t do it, others will think you can’t do it. If you think you have no value, others will think you have no value. If you think you’re not attractive, others will think the same. Instead of looking down on yourself, start looking up. See yourself on top of the world; flying high in life, reaching new heights, conquering all there is to conquer. Change that negative perception to a positive perception and watch your life change!

6. Upgrade your mind!
The best way to upgrade your mind is to start making an effort to slow down your thinking and live in the present moment. Your mind is the most overworked tool you own. You’re always thinking about something. Before you go to sleep at night, you’re thinking. When you wake up, you’re thinking. Your mind is either in the past or in the future. You’re thinking about what’s already happened, or you’re thinking about what’s going to happen. Even when someone is talking to you, instead of listening, you’re thinking about something that has nothing to do with the conversation. Stop thinking so much and take some time to come home to the present moment. Stop living in the past and in the future of your mind. The present moment is where life is truly happening.

7. Upgrade your spiritual life!
I went to a funeral on yesterday and as the casket was rolled down the aisle, I couldn’t help but think that one day I would be the one in the casket. Funerals have a way of making you realize just how short life is. They make you turn and take a look inward and ask yourself the question, “What’s really important in life?” Success, money, houses, cars, lavish vacations; in all honesty, when you look at the big picture, those things are really not that important. In 2011, upgrade your spiritual life by living the words of King Solomon in Ecclesiastes 12:13, “… Fear God, and keep His commandments: for this is the whole duty of man.”

Listen to my weekly radio broadcast Sundays 4-430pm on Houston's 100.7FM, or listen on the web at kkht.com. This Sunday, I will fully develop the topic, "7 Ways to Upgrade Your Life." Tune in!

Does the Church Need a Dress Code?

Low cut tops, halter tops, spandex, mini skirts, hip huggers, low riders. Sounds like the kind of attire you might see in a music video or nightclub. Wouldn't you agree?

There was a time when places like music videos and nightclubs were where you'd most likely find such attire. But not anymore. It's not uncommon to find the person sitting next to you on the pew at church wearing a blouse cut so low that it leaves half of her breasts exposed. Or perhaps the person sitting next to you on a Sunday morning has on a pair of spandex pants that leave nothing to the imagination. And don't mention the sister wearing the tight fitting mini skirt with the split in the side. No amount of tugging can cover her thighs. And what about the sister who came in late and sat in the pew directly in front of you. Her tight low rider hip hugging pants were so low, they exposed the thong she wore.

One of the greatest and fastest growing problems the church is facing today is the issue of women dressing inappropriately. And in order to solve the problem, it's going to take a collective effort.

There are those who would say, "It doesn't matter what I have on. It's what's in my heart that counts." The way we dress is a reflection of what's in our hearts, a reflection of our spiritual maturity, of where we are in our walk with the Lord.

Spiritual maturity is not something that happens overnight. It's a process that takes a lifetime. It may not always be realistic to expect a sister who is new in her relationship with the Lord to know all there is to know about living a holy life. It may take her some time to grow and develop the desire to trade in her spandex, mini skirt and low rider pants for more modest attire. But with the help of the Holy Spirit, she can get there. And if she's in a church with members who love her, they should have patience with her, teach her by example and share with her what the Scriptures teach about holy living.

Several things must take place before the problem of inappropriate dress can become less of a problem:

1. The preacher has to have the courage to teach it and preach it from the pulpit.
2. Seasoned Christian sisters must teach by example, dressing "in modest apparel."
3. Christian sisters must mature to a level of respect first to God and His Word, then to others.
4. Parents must start teaching children how to dress appropriately when they are still in the cradle.

Does the church need a dress code? The church already has a dress code. It just needs to be taught and lived. "I also want the women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, adorning themselves, not with elaborate hairstyles or gold or pearls or expensive clothes" (I Timothy 2:9NIV).